Thursday, March 6, 2014

My braces lasted longer than my remission

One

Every night I climb into bed only to remember what I forgot and it gets harder to get back up every time because somewhere along the way a ladder became more frightening than the jump.

      Two
My mom was never good at family math. One perfect child plus one broken mind equals good parenting but once it was one who was strong enough not to go there and once who was strong enough to come back it equaled her failure. And I remember in fifth grade they said a remainder wasn't how to do things, go all the way and use your fractions, but she is stuck with a remainder two she forgot about a long time ago.

                               Three
I'll finish this cup of tea in a few hours. It will be cold and stale by then but that is kind of how reading those emails feels in my stomach and I'm trying to get used to it. I know it would be easy enough to go down stairs and warm it up but the microwave can't fix everything.


F
   o
        u
           r


I always loved the feeling of 
 f              s                  f
   a                p                l
      l                   i               y
         l                    r              i
             i                      l            n
                n                      i            g
                   g                      n   
                                                g



five. in ninth grade english they taught me about full circle endings. and i loved them. my braces went on the day I first saw that scale say 99. maybe i'll get them off at the same weight.

                            
                                                                                            Six
THERE HASN'T BEEN ENOUGH TO LIE ABOUT LATELY.

                                                                                                            Seven.

Every morning I wake up and make enough cookies for everyone who needs them that day. I make dinner for six. I feed the baby at least 15 ounces. Cinnamon rolls are always my solution. I never saw the connection between my pork chops and the starving children in Africa,they couldn't have them if I ate them.

Eight
I some times feel like a my grandmother's chandelier. Something beautiful and sparkly and wanted. Like only the best would have me because I was worth everything. But also, more that I am just something beautiful to be looked at. I am the result of work and measuring and precise arranging, something that was put together just right, so that dust could collect on my bones.