Don't sass me boy, I know Ben isn't really your name. I think maybe it was more of who you really were all along though, so get over it.
I hate you today. And I mean I really hate you, like I hate my mother.
I hate you because I can't remember your birthday even though I know it is in September and I know that last year I made you a cake and ate it by myself, wishing you were sitting next to me. And I hate you because I hate Skype and the fact that it opens every time I start up my computer, and I hate you because I would just uninstall it if it weren't for you.
I hate you because you never really wanted to run away to Niagara Falls, and because you were serious when you offered last November.
I hate you because you always knew more about Star Trek than I did and because you were on my side when it came to Pluto. And I hate you because I did not give a shit if Pluto was a planet or not before you but Heather and I still fight about it some times. I hate you because I was still friends with Ben a month ago and now I am not. I didn't delete him, so I know you did it.
I hate you because I was sitting in the dark last night trying to think of the last time I ate a full meal, and I don't think it was in the last week. I hate you because you promised you wouldn't let me get bad again and I hate you because you told me you weren't good at keeping promises.
I hate you because I get excited every time I see the stars.
I hate you because you were always better at plotting revenge and thunder is God playing drums and yelling is only good if you are yelling about love. I hate you for all of that.
I hate you for everything tonight. For fireworks, and parades, and puppies, and I hate you for loving my writing most of all because I still don't think I am as good at it as I was when you were around.
And I hate you because you will never know how much loving you made me hate you.
Sincerly,
The girl with the red hair.
P.S. I hate you for that too.
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