I'm not myself since you left

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby. Ruth E. Renkel

We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict. - Jim Morrison

Dear you,

You're gone now.

And without you there to fight away the nightmares, I'm lost and alone and I'm scared.

I'm scared you won't come back,
and I'm scared we'll be different when you do.
I'm scared you'll love someone else someday,
because you are all I can think about
and I don't know if I could handle not having you.

I'm scared I'm losing myself without you here to remind me who I am, and 

I'm scared you are too much of who I am and I'm nothing with out you? 

What if all I ever am is the girl who loves you? 

And what if that isn't all I could have been?

I'm scared of the potential people keep telling me I have.
I don't know if I am good enough to be everything they want of me and
I am scared I'm going to let them down. I'm scared to disappoint everyone I love.
Especially you.
I'm scared I'm going to disappoint you.

I'm scared that I am starting to forget everything you helped me learn. 

I'm scared that I don't believe I am pretty anymore. 

 And I'm starting to be scared of eating again. Being afraid of that is scary.

 I'm scared I might starve myself to death.

I'm scared that our friends were really your friends,
and now I'm alone. What if no one but you ever loves me?
What if you never loved me? What if I never have my own friends?
What if, even when I'm surrounded by people, I'm alone forever?

I'm scared that I don't understand anything, 

and I'm scared that even if I do it still won't make sense. 

I'm scared to not know why things happen, but I'm scared to ask why they do. 

I'm scared I'll never know anything important, and I won't know if i do.

I'm scared of how quiet it gets in my room at night.
 It's been six months and I still get afraid when I wake up
and I can't hear you breathing.
I'm scared of how empty the dark is.

I guess what I am trying to tell you is that, I'm afraid of who I am with out you. 

Love,
Me