You don't know what you have until it is gone

I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like kids think of the light ten minutes after bed time. Like the winter sun thinks of flowers and parched flowers think of rain. I'm thinking of you like stray dogs think of their collars. Like he thinks of her, and she thinks of him, and we think about us and how we used to be.

I'm still thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like Africans didn't think of AIDS. Like the people thought of Noah when it started to rain and Ariel thought about her voice when Eric didn't know her. I'm thinking of you like retired English teachers think of novels. Like losers think of medals, and bronze thinks of silver, and silver thinks of gold and that last second that decided it all. I'm thinking of you like someone who regrets what could have been.

I'm always thinking of you. I think of you like flies think of wings. Like cake thinks of flour and frosting thinks of powdered sugar. I'm thinking of you like soap thinks of water. Like feet think of socks and socks think of shoes and shoes think of going places. I'm thinking of you like I'm not any good with out you.

I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you and your smile. About your smile and your laugh. I'm thinking about your car and the grease under your fingernails. I'm thinking of your fingernails and your hair and the way you played that song all summer long. I'm thinking of you and that snow cone and how with three dollars you told me you wouldn't give up on us.

I'm thinking of you, trying to remember all of that. Remembering that you're coming home. Remembering that you love me and that hasn't changed. Remembering why you're gone. Remembering our plans, and our hopes, and our dreams. Remembering that we aren't over and you are something I don't have to regret.